Heard a lot of people argue that horror has been going downhill of late. I don't think that's quite true. While mainstream horror has overdosed on bad remakes, terrible spoofs, and trying to make new franchises happen, independent and foreign horror has, more often than not, brought the scary goods to horror fans everywhere. With more streaming services available (as well as illegal downloads to the more ethically neutral), a greater variety of horror can be shared by all.
But what horror films are the best? I will attempt to answer this question in this post. I have not seen all the horror that came out from the last four years, but I've seen every item in this list and I can argue for or against why you should add it to your list. Although there might be mild spoilers, I'll try to avoid ruining any of these films for you.
Items in parentheses are ones that might be questionably considered horror by some, but I believe they belong here due to subject matter or presentation. And here we go:
Says what it does on the tin. These aren't really recommended to be watched by many of you. Maybe those wanting a good laugh out of bad films might take a shot at some of these, but eh, don't waste your time.
D-
34. Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D
Not much to say about this monstrosity, except the story of a baby girl who grows up as the daughter of killer bigots only to find that she has a Texas mansion to claim. One road trip follows, but needless to say she never bothered to read the fine print. Or the letter in the envelope explaining everything to her.
This is the sort of film where the lead character catches her boyfriend cheating on her with his ex and she says nothing. Nothing. Oh, and they allow a stranger they picked up while hitchhiking to have his run of the place while everyone shops for dinner. By himself with no one watching. The sort of film where explanations are in short order and character motivations make zero sense.
Not even a cute in joke involving the production company's other product can distract from the general, eye gouging crappiness and Texas sized levels of stupidity throughout.
33. I, Frankenstein
The lovely folks behind Underworld decided that they needed another franchise so we get this extremely anemic take on the story of Frankenstein's monster. Named Adam Frankenstein (of course), he manages to kill Victor's wife in a fit of rage and kills Victor by outracing it into the Arctic. And this is the hero. Fortunately in trying to give Victor a decent burial, Adam gets caught up in a secret war between demons and gargoyles.
Somehow featuring Bill Nighy in Michael Sheen's role, Chuck's handler/girlfriend as the scientist maiden in distress, and Jai Courtney as the Gargoyle Queen's bodyguard, the film tries real hard to force the Underworld template in the Frankenstein story. But the transplant is rejected in a woozy backlash of CGI explosions, non-sensical fights, and enough backstory for a Underworld sequel. Without the accompaniment of a cool hero like the leather clad Selene to get behind, Frankenstein becomes a dull slog.
Although Aaron Eckhart does look fine with his shirt off (those pre-film workouts did their job at least).
32. Room 237
The Shining may not be a subtle film, but at least it serves as a chilling reminder of the explosive nature of Jack Nicholson as well as a testament warning of the dangers of cabin fever.
The documentary (whose title was the number that the Torrence family was warned to stay away from) offers several theories as to what the film means. Various theories argue that it's in reference to the moon landing being faked, the genocide of Native Americans, minotaurs, and the Holocaust. They point to various scenes in the film as being representative of their arguments.
While it's interesting to see the film showed backwards and forwards at the same time which reveals some interesting things, the majority of these arguments are crackpot. And the fact they treat those theories with the same credibility as someone with more legitimate ones makes the documentary crackpot as well.
The floor plans of the hotel are the most interesting part, by the way.
31. Scary Movie 5
A franchise which has gone much further than is probably necessary at this point.
Scary Movie 5 pokes fun at Mama, Paranormal Activity, Inception and Black Swan rather feebly. A woman who is training to be a ballet dancer agrees to take on three kids as long as they live in a house with numerous cameras present. The catch is that the kids see a ghost/evil spirit of some sort as Mama.
Ashley Tisdale takes on the thankless role of being straight woman from Anna Faris and does about as well as Sharpay's Fabulous Adventure. Remember when Malcolm Lee had promise as a director? Maybe just after Roll Bounce? It seems longer.
Poor Terry Crews.
30. A Haunted House 2
A franchise that probably wasn't necessary, but the Wayans brothers (younger edition) need the paychecks so here we go.
After an attempt to save his girlfriend Kisha goes for naught, Malcolm moves into a new house with new girlfriend Megan and her family when strange things start to happen. Malcolm decides to record everything in the hopes of finding a possible solution. Along the way, he has sex with a doll who turns crazy, seeks help with a psychologist, paranormal investigators, and a priest, and befriends a Mexican neighbor.
Every time that Gabriel Iglesias comes on screen, the film threatens to actually get better as his character snaps at cheap stereotypes before ultimately conforming to them. It's not much, but it is an improvement on Scary Movie 5. Also, found a few scattered laughs elsewhere although it's still surprisingly raunchy for this type of material (it seems as though Marlon Wayans has one type of response for humor: go low).
Poor Mark Henry.
D
29. Rosemary's Baby (2014)
The saga of Ro (Zoe Saldana) trying to conceive a baby only to learn that the people who are their neighbors and friends may not be trustworthy takes a detour from a small New York flat to a more luxurious apartment in Paris. Saldana is likable, Jason Isaacs and Carole Bouquet as the Castevets are suitably delicious, and there's a nifty sequence involving the Catacombs in Paris.
Patrick J. Adams is super bland as Ro's husband Guy and the film fails to explain why it needs 2 additional hours to tell the story that was told quite well enough in the 1968 version.
There is more gore in this remake, however. For what it's worth.
D+
28. The Houses October Built
There's some hint that there is a better film lurking under the surface of this found footage film. The documentary which this film is based on may well be the better version.
What we get is a found footage horror of five idiots deciding to find the scariest horror house possible, not caring about their own safety in the process. There's one woman, one fat guy, and three other white guys. No effort is made to differentiate between the white guys so no one cares when one of them "disappears".
As a bad found footage film, the scares are of the jump variety and are saved until the final reels. This is one road trip you can safely skip.
27. Unfriended
Much like Houses October Built, there are some germs of an interesting story here as we witness a group of bullies get their comeuppance at the possible hand of the girl who killed herself due to their mockery online. The use of various windows making you part of the conversation is interesting and watching the nominal lead consider saying something, deleting it, and putting in something a bit kinder is fine.
But without a likable character in the midst, what we're left with here is a horror film relying on either a killer script or some nifty kills. Unfriended fails on both parts. Not even the sight of the evil characters turning on each other leads to any sort of catharsis. Just a slight shrug.
There's a reason final girls are in horror films, people.
These aren't good horror films, these aren't terrible ones. These are just there.
C-
26. Evil Dead (2013)
The film gets off to a promising start, explaining why the group of teens are there and why they don't want to leave. Mia is addicted to heroin and they intend to stay at an isolated cabin until she comes clean. Nice to see some logic included in a horror film. Also, nice of Diablo Cody to not make the dialogue super cutesy.
But problems start when someone stumbles across a Book of the Dead and decides to read from it.
Logic goes out the window, replaced by blood. Not even a clever post-credits scene can save this film from drowning in it.
25. (Godzilla (2014))
Much like Evil Dead, this film gets out to a promising start as Godzilla is nuked on an island off Japan only to come back bigger, stronger, and angrier. He takes on a nuclear plant in Tokyo which leads supervisor Joe Brody (Bryan Cranston) into an obsession that drives a wedge between him and his son. 15 years later, things go from there.
Can we agree on the following 3 things please?
1. Bryan Cranston's Ahab character is more interesting than the Aaron Taylor-Johnson heroic one
2. More films could use Sally Hawkins and Ken Watanabe as supporting characters
3. This is more accurate than the 1998 Roland Emmerich film, but not nearly as much fun.
The Godzilla in this incarnation gets all the critical things right about the monster. The scale, the atomic breath, the tail. But if doesn't bring any sort of fun or joy as Godzilla turns out to be a symbol of terror that attacks Japan and the West Coast of the US.
Eh, give me the Godzilla in a suit or even the 1998 one.
C
24.
But what horror films are the best? I will attempt to answer this question in this post. I have not seen all the horror that came out from the last four years, but I've seen every item in this list and I can argue for or against why you should add it to your list. Although there might be mild spoilers, I'll try to avoid ruining any of these films for you.
Items in parentheses are ones that might be questionably considered horror by some, but I believe they belong here due to subject matter or presentation. And here we go:
Part 1: Not recommended for general consumption
Says what it does on the tin. These aren't really recommended to be watched by many of you. Maybe those wanting a good laugh out of bad films might take a shot at some of these, but eh, don't waste your time.
D-
34. Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D
Not much to say about this monstrosity, except the story of a baby girl who grows up as the daughter of killer bigots only to find that she has a Texas mansion to claim. One road trip follows, but needless to say she never bothered to read the fine print. Or the letter in the envelope explaining everything to her.
This is the sort of film where the lead character catches her boyfriend cheating on her with his ex and she says nothing. Nothing. Oh, and they allow a stranger they picked up while hitchhiking to have his run of the place while everyone shops for dinner. By himself with no one watching. The sort of film where explanations are in short order and character motivations make zero sense.
Not even a cute in joke involving the production company's other product can distract from the general, eye gouging crappiness and Texas sized levels of stupidity throughout.
33. I, Frankenstein
The lovely folks behind Underworld decided that they needed another franchise so we get this extremely anemic take on the story of Frankenstein's monster. Named Adam Frankenstein (of course), he manages to kill Victor's wife in a fit of rage and kills Victor by outracing it into the Arctic. And this is the hero. Fortunately in trying to give Victor a decent burial, Adam gets caught up in a secret war between demons and gargoyles.
Somehow featuring Bill Nighy in Michael Sheen's role, Chuck's handler/girlfriend as the scientist maiden in distress, and Jai Courtney as the Gargoyle Queen's bodyguard, the film tries real hard to force the Underworld template in the Frankenstein story. But the transplant is rejected in a woozy backlash of CGI explosions, non-sensical fights, and enough backstory for a Underworld sequel. Without the accompaniment of a cool hero like the leather clad Selene to get behind, Frankenstein becomes a dull slog.
Although Aaron Eckhart does look fine with his shirt off (those pre-film workouts did their job at least).
32. Room 237
The Shining may not be a subtle film, but at least it serves as a chilling reminder of the explosive nature of Jack Nicholson as well as a testament warning of the dangers of cabin fever.
The documentary (whose title was the number that the Torrence family was warned to stay away from) offers several theories as to what the film means. Various theories argue that it's in reference to the moon landing being faked, the genocide of Native Americans, minotaurs, and the Holocaust. They point to various scenes in the film as being representative of their arguments.
While it's interesting to see the film showed backwards and forwards at the same time which reveals some interesting things, the majority of these arguments are crackpot. And the fact they treat those theories with the same credibility as someone with more legitimate ones makes the documentary crackpot as well.
The floor plans of the hotel are the most interesting part, by the way.
31. Scary Movie 5
A franchise which has gone much further than is probably necessary at this point.
Scary Movie 5 pokes fun at Mama, Paranormal Activity, Inception and Black Swan rather feebly. A woman who is training to be a ballet dancer agrees to take on three kids as long as they live in a house with numerous cameras present. The catch is that the kids see a ghost/evil spirit of some sort as Mama.
Ashley Tisdale takes on the thankless role of being straight woman from Anna Faris and does about as well as Sharpay's Fabulous Adventure. Remember when Malcolm Lee had promise as a director? Maybe just after Roll Bounce? It seems longer.
Poor Terry Crews.
30. A Haunted House 2
A franchise that probably wasn't necessary, but the Wayans brothers (younger edition) need the paychecks so here we go.
After an attempt to save his girlfriend Kisha goes for naught, Malcolm moves into a new house with new girlfriend Megan and her family when strange things start to happen. Malcolm decides to record everything in the hopes of finding a possible solution. Along the way, he has sex with a doll who turns crazy, seeks help with a psychologist, paranormal investigators, and a priest, and befriends a Mexican neighbor.
Every time that Gabriel Iglesias comes on screen, the film threatens to actually get better as his character snaps at cheap stereotypes before ultimately conforming to them. It's not much, but it is an improvement on Scary Movie 5. Also, found a few scattered laughs elsewhere although it's still surprisingly raunchy for this type of material (it seems as though Marlon Wayans has one type of response for humor: go low).
Poor Mark Henry.
D
29. Rosemary's Baby (2014)
The saga of Ro (Zoe Saldana) trying to conceive a baby only to learn that the people who are their neighbors and friends may not be trustworthy takes a detour from a small New York flat to a more luxurious apartment in Paris. Saldana is likable, Jason Isaacs and Carole Bouquet as the Castevets are suitably delicious, and there's a nifty sequence involving the Catacombs in Paris.
Patrick J. Adams is super bland as Ro's husband Guy and the film fails to explain why it needs 2 additional hours to tell the story that was told quite well enough in the 1968 version.
There is more gore in this remake, however. For what it's worth.
D+
28. The Houses October Built
There's some hint that there is a better film lurking under the surface of this found footage film. The documentary which this film is based on may well be the better version.
What we get is a found footage horror of five idiots deciding to find the scariest horror house possible, not caring about their own safety in the process. There's one woman, one fat guy, and three other white guys. No effort is made to differentiate between the white guys so no one cares when one of them "disappears".
As a bad found footage film, the scares are of the jump variety and are saved until the final reels. This is one road trip you can safely skip.
27. Unfriended
Much like Houses October Built, there are some germs of an interesting story here as we witness a group of bullies get their comeuppance at the possible hand of the girl who killed herself due to their mockery online. The use of various windows making you part of the conversation is interesting and watching the nominal lead consider saying something, deleting it, and putting in something a bit kinder is fine.
But without a likable character in the midst, what we're left with here is a horror film relying on either a killer script or some nifty kills. Unfriended fails on both parts. Not even the sight of the evil characters turning on each other leads to any sort of catharsis. Just a slight shrug.
There's a reason final girls are in horror films, people.
Part 2: Horror Films that are Alright
These aren't good horror films, these aren't terrible ones. These are just there.
C-
26. Evil Dead (2013)
The film gets off to a promising start, explaining why the group of teens are there and why they don't want to leave. Mia is addicted to heroin and they intend to stay at an isolated cabin until she comes clean. Nice to see some logic included in a horror film. Also, nice of Diablo Cody to not make the dialogue super cutesy.
But problems start when someone stumbles across a Book of the Dead and decides to read from it.
Logic goes out the window, replaced by blood. Not even a clever post-credits scene can save this film from drowning in it.
25. (Godzilla (2014))
Much like Evil Dead, this film gets out to a promising start as Godzilla is nuked on an island off Japan only to come back bigger, stronger, and angrier. He takes on a nuclear plant in Tokyo which leads supervisor Joe Brody (Bryan Cranston) into an obsession that drives a wedge between him and his son. 15 years later, things go from there.
Can we agree on the following 3 things please?
1. Bryan Cranston's Ahab character is more interesting than the Aaron Taylor-Johnson heroic one
2. More films could use Sally Hawkins and Ken Watanabe as supporting characters
3. This is more accurate than the 1998 Roland Emmerich film, but not nearly as much fun.
The Godzilla in this incarnation gets all the critical things right about the monster. The scale, the atomic breath, the tail. But if doesn't bring any sort of fun or joy as Godzilla turns out to be a symbol of terror that attacks Japan and the West Coast of the US.
Eh, give me the Godzilla in a suit or even the 1998 one.
C
24.
