As of December 11, 2019, I have seen a total of 11 films. Yeah, but I've also made time to see such gems as Double Indemnity, Apocalypse Now and Lawrence of Arabia. So I think I'm forgiven.
Anyway, here's a listing of the films I've seen which will be updated as I see more (which should be soon-ish). I'm listing them from worst to best because of course I am.
Without further ado:
11. Eleven---I think there was potential here.
A film about a final assault in the closing hours before World War 1 breathes its last breath, Eleven refers to the time where the fighting will end and the Germans will surrender.
Their commander refers to it as a final punch on the nose. Perhaps he could have asked his troops first? We're stuck with a motley crew of someone getting their first combat, someone who looks forward to seeing his wife, and a person who's doomed because he carries a picture/letter of his loved one.
Some interesting ideas including having a potential friendship between a German soldier as weary of the war as he is get drowned out by amateur writing, direction (too many flashbacks/flash forwards), and acting (of course, the directors get involved in front of the cameras as well). Its run time might be 81 minutes, but it feels as long as The Irishman by the time it's done.
Not even a scene at the end featuring someone's relative remembering the 100th anniversary of the War could move me from complete and utter boredom. (D-)
10. One Red Nose Day and a Wedding---I think they went to the well one too many times.
Considering the rousing amount of attention and success received by Red Nose Actually, a continuation of Love Actually for the Red Nose charity Comic Relief, it made perfect sense that they would dive again into the Hugh Grant filmography. Based on the title, they chose Four Weddings and a Funeral.
The problem is that really not much of anything happens other than the offspring of two characters from the movie get hitched. 80 to 90 percent of the humor comes either from moments/interactions that make zero sense if you haven't seen the original film or Rowan Atkinson proving to be really inept (but surprisingly woke) in performing the ceremony.
What made Red Nose Actually work better is a) the various segments ensured that more interesting things were on the horizon and b) the short didn't require previous viewership of the film to enjoy. Since One Red Nose Day didn't have either one, it was too slight to enjoy even at 14 minutes.
Turn down the RSVP (D-)
9. Guava Island---Much like Eleven, this had some interesting ideas. But its execution left a lot to be desired.
The story of a radio DJ/musician (Donald Glover) who loves performing as much as his seamstress girlfriend (Rihanna) on a tropical island ran by a dictator has several interesting ideas behind it. It could have focused on the challenges of maintaining a romance seemingly destined from childhood. It could be about the power of entertainment to affect real change in the island. It could be about the dangers lurking inside an idyllic island paradise.
Alas, too much of it exists so that Donald Glover can offer alternative videos to his largest hits. This is America and Summertime Magic both look nice, but it's hard to deal with all these topics in the span of 54 minutes. Especially when it sounds like in the last minutes that there's some interesting material that got left in the cutting room floor.
I've seen this compared to Purple Rain. But this is more like Under the Cherry Moon in color. (D)
8. Malibu Beach Rescue---Yes, Savage Steve Holland is still directing films 20 plus years after his "heyday".
The story of a young man who gets into trouble and ends up joining a lifeguard unit to please his father where he reluctantly starts to enjoy his time there is very familiar. Holland makes it marginally tolerable by adding some of his quirks and keeping things moving.
The only major familiar face is Ian Ziering as the program director who dislikes the lead character because his father bested him in a competition or something. But he does give the most of his performance much like he did with the Sharknados, selling what could be some very dumb material as seriously as possible.
This does feature a bus driver named Vooch who has to explain a key fact to a group of kids repeatedly because they're not paying attention to him. It's dumb, but watchable. (D+)
7. Farmstead---This documentary also had potential, but it feels like it left the most interesting parts on the cutting room floor.
It's about a young-ish family who moves back to Ohio to run the family farm and raise their family. There's some lean times over the course of 5 years, but thanks to the idea of making cheese, they seem to be doing OK. It shows the challenges of operating a cheese business such as when one of your top clients burns down and trying to convince new places to give your brand a shot.
There's some good moments like when the woman is crying from all the stress of having to meet the increased demand or when she stops their daughter from insulting her brother because she's apparently a better wrestler. But even as we watch the fireworks go off towards the end, most if not all of the interesting stuff can only be implied through a comment here.
If they showed more and told less, I think the film would have worked way better. (C-)
6. Wine Country---Considering the talent of the cast involved, it's a disappointment the film is just mediocre.
I mean, you get funny ladies like Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph, Rachel Dratch, Ana Gasteyer and (surprise) Tina Fey in the same film, you'd think we'd be dealing with a laugh riot. And sadly, you'd be wrong.
A group of women take a trip to Napa Valley to celebrate someone's 50th birthday. But various challenges threaten the fun weekend planned to the nth degree and perhaps even the bonds of their friendship.
Poehler the actress could have used a better director to sell the material. Various gags such as the inspiration of Val's potential love interest and a paella that never seems to be ready feel undercooked and under-utilized. The film tries to go for a Bridesmaids/Girls Trip celebration of girl power and outrageous behavior, but it feels too planned and too careful. Some nice chemistry (all the main players met each other on SNL, including the less familiar names) and some fine humor about the mocking of wine culture carry this a way. Jason Schwartzman helps a bit as a tour guide that tries to keep up with the group of friends.
But I guess the dangers of potential apply here. This should have been a home run. Instead it's a bloop single. (C)
5. Juanita---I do feel like Alfre Woodard deserves better than this.
The story of a nurse (Woodard) from Columbus, Ohio who decides she's done all she can for her grown children who seem interested in making various mistakes in their life and travels to Montana to make a fresh start is at once interesting and familiar. Interesting in that she starts to fall for a short order cook (Adam Beach) and Army vet with PTSD. Familiar in that the first person she meets is a lesbian trucker named Peaches.
This film throws everything at the wall to see what would stick. She breaks the fourth wall to talk about her life several times. There's fantasy sequences with Blair Underwood which start out as romantic fantasy and then break into reality, often abruptly enough that poor Juanita feels like the butt of the joke. There's scenes where we get a closer look at the cook's family. And there's even scenes where she gets to meet a spiritual guru who helps her deal with things.
I do like how they played out the romance, but the script could have used some polish and nuance. They took good care of Beach's family; why couldn't they do the same to Woodard's? (C+)
4. 42nd Street: The Broadway Musical---Stop if you've heard this one before.
A Broadway hopeful from a small town (Allentown, PA represent!) makes her way to the Great White Way in the hopes of landing a position. Thanks to some skill, some hard work and a little luck, she ultimately gets to star in her own Broadway show that she has to knock them dead on her opening night or 100 actors (including her) will lose their jobs during the Great Depression. No pressure! Meanwhile, she has to balance a couple of guys who clearly have eyes on her including the male lead and the director. Again, no pressure!
Some of the songs will sound awfully familiar. Alas, so does the pressure of the lead character to try to mate up even though she's been in town for only a handful of hours. It feels unrealistic and one scene involving the director giving the hopeful some personal advice is cringeworthy.
Some nifty choreography and the cheerful lack of playing to the back by the comic relief does help. (C+)
Anyway, here's a listing of the films I've seen which will be updated as I see more (which should be soon-ish). I'm listing them from worst to best because of course I am.
Without further ado:
A Must to Avoid (with apologies to Herman's Hermits):
11. Eleven---I think there was potential here.
A film about a final assault in the closing hours before World War 1 breathes its last breath, Eleven refers to the time where the fighting will end and the Germans will surrender.
Their commander refers to it as a final punch on the nose. Perhaps he could have asked his troops first? We're stuck with a motley crew of someone getting their first combat, someone who looks forward to seeing his wife, and a person who's doomed because he carries a picture/letter of his loved one.
Some interesting ideas including having a potential friendship between a German soldier as weary of the war as he is get drowned out by amateur writing, direction (too many flashbacks/flash forwards), and acting (of course, the directors get involved in front of the cameras as well). Its run time might be 81 minutes, but it feels as long as The Irishman by the time it's done.
Not even a scene at the end featuring someone's relative remembering the 100th anniversary of the War could move me from complete and utter boredom. (D-)
10. One Red Nose Day and a Wedding---I think they went to the well one too many times.
Considering the rousing amount of attention and success received by Red Nose Actually, a continuation of Love Actually for the Red Nose charity Comic Relief, it made perfect sense that they would dive again into the Hugh Grant filmography. Based on the title, they chose Four Weddings and a Funeral.
The problem is that really not much of anything happens other than the offspring of two characters from the movie get hitched. 80 to 90 percent of the humor comes either from moments/interactions that make zero sense if you haven't seen the original film or Rowan Atkinson proving to be really inept (but surprisingly woke) in performing the ceremony.
What made Red Nose Actually work better is a) the various segments ensured that more interesting things were on the horizon and b) the short didn't require previous viewership of the film to enjoy. Since One Red Nose Day didn't have either one, it was too slight to enjoy even at 14 minutes.
Turn down the RSVP (D-)
Not Recommended
9. Guava Island---Much like Eleven, this had some interesting ideas. But its execution left a lot to be desired.
The story of a radio DJ/musician (Donald Glover) who loves performing as much as his seamstress girlfriend (Rihanna) on a tropical island ran by a dictator has several interesting ideas behind it. It could have focused on the challenges of maintaining a romance seemingly destined from childhood. It could be about the power of entertainment to affect real change in the island. It could be about the dangers lurking inside an idyllic island paradise.
Alas, too much of it exists so that Donald Glover can offer alternative videos to his largest hits. This is America and Summertime Magic both look nice, but it's hard to deal with all these topics in the span of 54 minutes. Especially when it sounds like in the last minutes that there's some interesting material that got left in the cutting room floor.
I've seen this compared to Purple Rain. But this is more like Under the Cherry Moon in color. (D)
8. Malibu Beach Rescue---Yes, Savage Steve Holland is still directing films 20 plus years after his "heyday".
The story of a young man who gets into trouble and ends up joining a lifeguard unit to please his father where he reluctantly starts to enjoy his time there is very familiar. Holland makes it marginally tolerable by adding some of his quirks and keeping things moving.
The only major familiar face is Ian Ziering as the program director who dislikes the lead character because his father bested him in a competition or something. But he does give the most of his performance much like he did with the Sharknados, selling what could be some very dumb material as seriously as possible.
This does feature a bus driver named Vooch who has to explain a key fact to a group of kids repeatedly because they're not paying attention to him. It's dumb, but watchable. (D+)
Take It or Leave It
7. Farmstead---This documentary also had potential, but it feels like it left the most interesting parts on the cutting room floor.
It's about a young-ish family who moves back to Ohio to run the family farm and raise their family. There's some lean times over the course of 5 years, but thanks to the idea of making cheese, they seem to be doing OK. It shows the challenges of operating a cheese business such as when one of your top clients burns down and trying to convince new places to give your brand a shot.
There's some good moments like when the woman is crying from all the stress of having to meet the increased demand or when she stops their daughter from insulting her brother because she's apparently a better wrestler. But even as we watch the fireworks go off towards the end, most if not all of the interesting stuff can only be implied through a comment here.
If they showed more and told less, I think the film would have worked way better. (C-)
6. Wine Country---Considering the talent of the cast involved, it's a disappointment the film is just mediocre.
I mean, you get funny ladies like Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph, Rachel Dratch, Ana Gasteyer and (surprise) Tina Fey in the same film, you'd think we'd be dealing with a laugh riot. And sadly, you'd be wrong.
A group of women take a trip to Napa Valley to celebrate someone's 50th birthday. But various challenges threaten the fun weekend planned to the nth degree and perhaps even the bonds of their friendship.
Poehler the actress could have used a better director to sell the material. Various gags such as the inspiration of Val's potential love interest and a paella that never seems to be ready feel undercooked and under-utilized. The film tries to go for a Bridesmaids/Girls Trip celebration of girl power and outrageous behavior, but it feels too planned and too careful. Some nice chemistry (all the main players met each other on SNL, including the less familiar names) and some fine humor about the mocking of wine culture carry this a way. Jason Schwartzman helps a bit as a tour guide that tries to keep up with the group of friends.
But I guess the dangers of potential apply here. This should have been a home run. Instead it's a bloop single. (C)
5. Juanita---I do feel like Alfre Woodard deserves better than this.
The story of a nurse (Woodard) from Columbus, Ohio who decides she's done all she can for her grown children who seem interested in making various mistakes in their life and travels to Montana to make a fresh start is at once interesting and familiar. Interesting in that she starts to fall for a short order cook (Adam Beach) and Army vet with PTSD. Familiar in that the first person she meets is a lesbian trucker named Peaches.
This film throws everything at the wall to see what would stick. She breaks the fourth wall to talk about her life several times. There's fantasy sequences with Blair Underwood which start out as romantic fantasy and then break into reality, often abruptly enough that poor Juanita feels like the butt of the joke. There's scenes where we get a closer look at the cook's family. And there's even scenes where she gets to meet a spiritual guru who helps her deal with things.
I do like how they played out the romance, but the script could have used some polish and nuance. They took good care of Beach's family; why couldn't they do the same to Woodard's? (C+)
4. 42nd Street: The Broadway Musical---Stop if you've heard this one before.
A Broadway hopeful from a small town (Allentown, PA represent!) makes her way to the Great White Way in the hopes of landing a position. Thanks to some skill, some hard work and a little luck, she ultimately gets to star in her own Broadway show that she has to knock them dead on her opening night or 100 actors (including her) will lose their jobs during the Great Depression. No pressure! Meanwhile, she has to balance a couple of guys who clearly have eyes on her including the male lead and the director. Again, no pressure!
Some of the songs will sound awfully familiar. Alas, so does the pressure of the lead character to try to mate up even though she's been in town for only a handful of hours. It feels unrealistic and one scene involving the director giving the hopeful some personal advice is cringeworthy.
Some nifty choreography and the cheerful lack of playing to the back by the comic relief does help. (C+)
Recommended
3. Wildland (aka Young Men and Fire)---Saw this way back in October 2018 as a preview on Independent Lens before it supposedly got theatrical wranglings in early 2019.
The documentary which focuses on a group of men and their decision to join a wildfire fighting team changed its name supposedly due to the family of Norman Maclean (A River Runs Through It) refusing to allow it to name it after his book. There's a lot of hurry up and wait...until they finally get a chance to practice what they've learned.
We get to know the people who trained the group of men (despite the name change, it is an all-male unit) as well as meet a few of the people who reveal why they're doing this.
It does feel brief, but I do remember the version I saw being about 20-25 minutes shorter than the theatrical version. Perhaps there's more in those minutes than what I saw.
Still, it's an interesting look at those who fight fires and the why they agree to do so that keeps your attention. (B-)
2. Woodstock: Three Days that Defined a Generation---This is less about the bands and the incredible music of the 1969 music and art festival. Instead it's more about those running the show and those who attended.
Now that we got that out of the way, the documentary does thrive on the origins of the festival (it turns out it was originally going to be about a party launching a music studio), the various things that threatened its success (lack of food, medical care, and bad weather), and the spirit of can-do effort that somehow made it work (thumbs up to Wavy Gravy and his merry band of security).
Also, they look at those who attended the festival from those college students just looking for a few days of fun and music to those trying to avoid the looming specter of the Vietnam War. I do wish we got a sense as to what happened to these people afterwards.
But there's something fascinating at this inside look at Woodstock that celebrates the music but doesn't make it its center (B)
1. Wrestle---At its core, this documentary is about a group of young students who grow up with the help of a coach/father figure who's barely a decade older than they are.
Wrestling is a sport where there's no excuses, nobody to blame when you don't do well. That's part of its appeal and part of its challenge. Several students at a failing school in Alabama try to qualify for the state tournament while learning lessons about life and accountability.
Their coach who appears to be all of 30 not only tries to encourage his team to do well, but also has to be there for moments big (one of them gets an honor and has to do a speech) and small (one wrestler has various bouts of depression). He gets to grow up some as well in the course of the season as he learns about systematic racism involving several of his athletes and the police.
I won't spoil how it ends, but you do feel that all involved benefited from the year. It definitely ends on a high. (B+)
Alright, I've shown the films I've seen so far. Which ones should I try to track down?
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